Bumper Stickers

1. Go ahead and honk, I'm reloading.
2. If you don't like the way I drive, get off the sidewalk!
3. So many pedestrians, so little time.
4. Minimum wage for politicians.
5. 10,000,000 sperms and you were the fastest?
6. To all you virgins - thanks for nothing.
7. Eat a prune and start a movement.
8. I took my IQ test - it came back negative.
9. Now that you're on my tail, you wanna get married?
10. That's not a haircut - it's a cry for help.
11. Adrenalin is my drug of choice.
12. I'm not in heat so get off my tail.
13. Sssh. The driver is sleeping.
14. Air pollution is a mist-demeanour.
15. Say no to shampoo - demand real poo.
16. Please tell your pants it's not polite to point.
17. Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
18. I want to die in my sleep like my grandpa...not yelling, and screaming like the passengers in his car.
19. We're not old people, we're recycled teenagers.
20. If that cell phone was up your ass, maybe you could drive better.
21. My car, my dear mobile diner, office, and bedroom.
22. To err is human, to moo bovine.
23. This driver is cleverly disguised as a responsible and sober adult.
24. Good cowgirls keep their calves together.
25. If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.
26. This car is protected my Smith and Wesson.
27. Caution! Driver applying make-up.
28. He who hesitates is not only lost, but miles from the next exit.
29. I don't suffer from insanity - I enjoy every minute of it.
30. Go ahead and hit me. I need the money.
31. This car is onstipated: it hasn't passed a thing all day.
32. You! Out of the gene pool!
33. Never mind the dog - Beware of the owner!
34. Minds are like parachutes - they only function when open.
35. Evacuate the road - student driving!
36. Where are we going and why am I in this handbasket?
37. Smile and the whole world smiles with you, fart and you stand alone.
38. I've not lost my mind - it's backed up on a disk somewhere.
39. I straight: don't rear end me.
40. Born free...taxed to death.
41. I just got lost in thought. It was afterall unfamiliar territory.
42. Disney World - a people trap operated by a mouse.
43. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
44. I can go from zero to bitch in 2.2 seconds.
45. I brake for hallucinations.
46. Earn cash in your spare time - blackmail friends.
47. Drive defensively - buy a tank.
48. Spare the fenders, save the trees, give your sober friend the f***ing keys!
49. Don't honk - I'm pedalling as fast as I can.
50. Warning: I have an attitutde and I know how to use it.
51. Flies spread disease. Keep yours closed.