Only in America

• can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
• there are handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
• do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
• do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet Coke.
• do banks leave both doors to the vault open and then chain the pens to the counters.
• do they leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
• do they use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so they won't miss a call from someone they didn't want to talk to in the first place.
• do they buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
• do they use the word "politics" to describe the process so well; "Poli" in Latin meaning "many" and "tics" meaning "bloodsucking creatures".
• do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering