God’s plan made a hopeful beginning.
But man spoiled his chances by sinning.
We trust that the storyWill end in God’s glory,
But at present the other side’s winning.

There was a young lady of Niger
who smiled as she rode on a tiger;
They returned from the ride
with the lady inside,
and the smile on the face of the tiger.

Hickory dickory dock,
the mouse ran up the clock;
the clock struck one
and down he run;
hickory dickory dock.

There was an old man from Nantucket
Who kept all his cash in a bucket.
His daughter, called Nan,
Ran away with a man,
And as for the bucket, Nantucket.

Nadia's. What did the .... say to the ....?

What did the dog say to the cat?
Why do you shower every day.

What did the plate say to the bowl?'
How come you are deeper than me?

What did the shower say to the bath tub?
You have more fun

What did the curtains say to the blinds?
You are so crispy.

What did the bag say to the lunchbag?
You are more prettier than me.

What did the cheerios say to the fruit loops?
You have a lot of flavors.

What did the scarf say to the hat?
You are so  high up.

Why couldn't the skeleton go to the dance party?
Because he had nobody to go with.

What is the boxer's favorite drink?
Fruit Punch

What do you call a pig that knows Karate?
Pork Chops.

What do you get when you cross a shitzu with a bulldog?
Bullshit

What's the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?

Q. What's the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?
A. The taste.

Bounced off her Pony

There was once a woman called Toni
Who ate lots of steamed macaroni.
She grew quite fat
But she didn't mind that
Cos she bounced when she fell of her pony

Protruding tongue - reptilian

A precocious young lady name Lillian
Protruded her tongue at a Chilean;
Her mother said, pleading,
"Remember your breeding,
That trick is distinctly reptilian

Faggot vs Lesbian

A faggot who live in Khartoum
Took a lesbian up to his room
And they argued all night
As to who had the right
To do what, and with which, and to whom.

Biting her Fanny

An accident really uncanny
Befell a respectable granny:
She sat down in a chair
While her false teeth were there
And bit herself right in the fanny.